April 8, 2014


While watching General Conference Sunday morning, I had an epiphany. The light bulb just switched on and I couldn't help but feel humbled and thankful, and honestly a little silly that I never saw it before.

I can't remember who it was that gave the talk but it was in the Sunday Morning Session. I think it may have been Elder Bednar but I'm not sure. The speaker focussed a lot on the scripture, Matthew 11:28-30.

 "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

When Aaron and I were going through those painful years trying to get pregnant, I often turned to this scripture and ended up asking "Why?". My Savior told me in that scripture that if I come to Him with my sorrows and my burdens, that He will give me rest.

At least that's what I have always thought He was telling me. I continually turned to the Lord and asked Him to take the pain. To give me rest. Basically, I thought if I turned to my Lord and Savior, He would turn everything around, take away our infertility issues, and give us an end.

But that's not what the scripture is telling us. And this is my epiphany.

When He is telling us to come unto Him and He will give us rest, it doesn't just end there. He says to "Take my yoke upon you". Somehow my brain always skipped over that part. 

Listening to the speaker explain how two animals are yoked together, working together to pull their load really struck me. The Savior didn't promise to take away my burden, but to stand right beside me struggling, and fighting and pulling with me to get through it. I had to deal with a lot of anger over our infertility because I kept expecting it to just go away. That there would be an easy answer. And when I turned to prayer hoping that I would find that easy answer, I got angry. Why wouldn't He just take it away when He has the power to and He has promised children to both me and Aaron? 

It's because He doesn't work that way. He didn't promise to take it away and make it better. He promised to stand next to me and pull through the sludge and mud that is our trial. And even though I didn't understand it then, I now know that He was always right beside me. Yoked to me in my burden and laboring right along beside me. He pulled when I pulled. He fought forward when I fought forward. He cried when I cried. And He put a comforting arm around me and made my burden just a little lighter until that time when HE knew it was our time. 

I am so grateful for General Conference and the little reminders and epiphanies that it offers. And I am so grateful for my Savior for yoking himself to me. Not only in that past struggle, but in all moments that I need Him.

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